When the death of a loved one occurs, the frequently undetected differences between men and women can become quite apparent. As men, we often find it difficult to reach out for help. We tend to avoid admitting we’re lost, and we are reluctant to ask for directions. Simply put, we’d rather figure it out ourselves. In many cases, this independence and perseverance serves us well, and we find great satisfaction in triumphing over our challenges. However, emerging research shows that men can benefit from additional support when experiencing the loss of a spouse, partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend.
Here are some helpful books and websites for coping with grief.
A Handbook for Widowers by Ames, Ed, www.centering.org
A Man You Know is Grieving by Thomas R. Golden and James E. Miller, www.willowgreen.com.
Cowbells and Courage by Patrick W. Page, www.centering.org
Grieving: How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., BCETS, BCBT, (New York: Bantam Books, 1991).
Into the Cave: When Men Grieve by Dr. Ronald G. Petrie, 503-771-4341
Living with Grief: Who We Are, How We Grieve by Kenneth J. Doka and Joyce D Davidson, foreword by Jack Gordon. (Routledge, 1998).
Men Don’t Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes on Grief by Kenneth J. Doka, with T. Martin, foreword by Dr. Therese A. Rando (Routledge, 1999).
Swallowed by a Snake by Thomas R. Golden, LCSW, HG Publishing, www.webhealing.com.
The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss by George A. Bonanno (Basic Books, 2009)
The Widower’s Toolbox by Gerald J. Schaefer with Tom Bekkers, MSW, APSW, (New Horizon’s Press, Far Hills, 2010), www.widowerstoolbox.com/index.html
When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help by Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D., (Fairview Press, 1998).
Widower: When Men are Left Alone by Scott Campbell and D. Phyllis Silverman. (Prentice Hall, New York, 1996).